sanity vs. existence

it's been a Long time..

2005-11-07T21:01:00.000-08:00

HENNA day today.
bakit may twelve sa baba yung henna mo yen?! haha.

HOW VAIN CAN YEN GET?! haha.

me and my mama dearest sa Manila memorial.
ickay and me, before kami punta ng eastwood. +++

i had a blast last week. first we had a long weekend vacation. take note, long weekend, parang nagwo2rk kami sa office diba. haha. tus we went to manila mem to visit my lola, and lolo sancho. tus we had our vain moments there. haha. ang vain din pla ng nanay ko. funny. tus aun, we had reg classes nung nov 2 and 3. guess what? midterms nmin sa kaspil and intphil. i think im going to fail.:( yen is so stupid. waaah. :c

tus last saturday, i went to eastwood with my cousins and some guy friends.. saya! in fairness. haha.

ngayon, i have to face reality. im barely passing. especially sa KASPIL. hhay. ano bang dapat ko gawin para pumasa sa quizzes nia? ang hirap tlga eh.. hhay.. ewan..

i miss kymiebooboo..:( sorry kym if ndi ako nakakaemail ah. we greeted jynx nman eh.. haha.. i love you betterfriend but i love **** more eh.. haha..:)

later nlang ulit.

5 more days.. yen's excited na.:)

still ANIMO.

2005-10-12T19:42:00.000-07:00

it was said on the news.

green archers are not qualified for the championship trophy last year and even not qualified for the 2nd place this year. why? according to rumors, somebody in the team was not supposed to play because he has illegal papers. according to sef, he had an illegal diploma. so the DLSU officials decided to return their trophies nlang. but, our point is, the uaap officials should have checked the players' papers even before the start of the season plang. why do they have to wait until now? and more so, why DLSU only? aaack.. i dont know na..

whatever they say, still nobody can beat our animo. and we lasallians know that..

+++
had a rough day today. really im not in the mood for anything. i really dont know why. how pathetic me.

today is the 12th of the month.

and, nothing special happened.

nice.

gua ya siong sim

Nothing Ordinary. Just Yen.

2005-10-06T15:25:00.000-07:00

30 more minutes and the DLSU archers will once again face the FEU tamaraws in the finals game at the araneta colliseum. so sad that during their first match the archers failed by JUST 2 points. daaah. (santos was so good. and they failed to "box him out") haha.

haha. honestly, i didnt watch the game. haha. just heard it from my blockmates. aun kahiya pa the assistant team manager. aun banned for life tuloy sha. i juts hope na manalo pa den kami. sayang ang libreng food and everything.

asan ako? nasa complab. G404 to be exact. haha. dame pla complab dito sa gox. and katabi ko si cor. hi corina. ang astig ng prof namin.. umalis si lawrence nagpaalam pa sabi nia nood daw sha ng game tpos pumayag lang yung prof.. hahaha.. sana lahat ng prof kagaya nito..:)

3 days na ko may sakit.. hhay... i think my lungs has given up already.. tpos etong si sef hinawa pa ko ng cpon nia.. epaL!

had a bad dream last nyt but i dont want to make kwento na.. sobrang iyak tlga ako.. epaL.. so yun.. went to the chapel kaninang morning.. yehey..:)

sana gumaling na ko..

+++
y are you so insensitive? my god. do other people have to tell you pa na may sakit ako? and dont tell them na AKO pa ndi nagrereply ah.. ang tanong NAGTETEXT KA BA? do you even bother to spend a buck for me? grabe tus sasabihin mo miss mo ko? best friend ka ba o ano?

lumayo ka na. wala ka ng makukuhang matinong sagot sakin.

wala ng kagaya mo na nag-eexist sa buhay ko.

yung 4 years ng friendship? ng pagiging mag-bestfriend? KALIMUTAN MO NA.

aba wag ka. may boyfriend ka na pla. edi jan ka na. kaya pla ndi mo na makuha magparamdam samin ah. jan ka na. pero pag may nanyare sau, wag ka na den samin lumapit. lalo na sakin. wala na. tpos na yung pagkakaibigan natin.

~~czarina recto~~

beat the animo. Can you?

2005-09-26T09:26:00.000-07:00

Last sunday, the archers again showed that nobody beats the animo and that the efforts of the eagles still are not enough to pull our animo down.

guess who won? shempre kami. ateneo's efforts are finally thrown to trash and they ended up in the third place lang.

the lesson: dont be too comfy. yabang kase eh.

i just hope that the rematch against the tamaraws will have a positive result. WEEEESH.

+++
i think im just going to repost my entry sa xanga.

haha. no way.

it's not worth it.

i just finished my proposals for engltwo but it is still incomplete. so aun. labo. just finished tpos incomplete. haha.

i have nothing to say naman eh, wala ibang nanyayare except that everyday im getting crazier and crazier sa isang tao jan. haha. cno kaya yun?

secret.

rence and i are still working on the "common things" in our proposal. and hell yeah, wala ata tlga. except human behavior which is common but i dont think it is directly related to our course. d hell, when ba may nagka-common thing saming 2?

yesterday, we ate at La casita and guess what, the archers are there to eat their lunch.. Lunch ba tawag dun? 2 sandwiches and an apple lang. then franz told them that it's their diet for the day.. haha.. the funny thing was, ryan arana didnt follow. instead after finishing his sandwiches he bought pa rice and ulam. haha. takaw ah. then i saw ty tang AGAIN. with his girlfriend shempre. ang cute tlga nila together. then after pe class si cua naman nakasabay namin sa elevator. parang ang bait2 ng face nia tlga. wala lang.

yesterday was not a good day for me. didnt feel well sobra. i was having a hard time breathing. parang may nakadagan sa chest ko.. tpos yun sakit pa ulo ko.. di kase ako nakainom ng gamot eh.. exage feel ko ang drug dependent ko na.. try ko kaya wag uminom for 1 week, nu kaya manyayare sakin? haha. bad girl..

anywei, i already told kym about "the secret" and then hanne told jaymee already. so okay na. finally nung nsabi ko kay kym, ang gaan na ng feeling ko. hehe. betterfriend tlga. tnx for understanding. aun. then we bought na pla the ring for jaymee. i think she liked it nman eh, kahit kame di nmen shado trip. haha. aun.

wo hun shing fu yo ni.

in english: i'm so lucky to have someone like you.

wo ai ni.

[tw3Lve]

i never felt this happy until you came into my life. i hope that what i'm giving you is already enough to make you stay.

recent pics...

2005-09-22T19:25:00.000-07:00

yen plus yen's guy version? haha. no way.
me and anna banana. during biolab class.
how vain can you get?
me, hanne and dianne.
upside down vain moments.
during kathleen's debut. me, roders and reena. reunion!

+++
long time no blog huh? hehe. i'm still tamad to make kwento.. so ayan.. pics nlang.. hahaha.. new layout pa?

i'm giving you my heart.. please do take care of it..

12*OnLy waNna Be wiTh yOu*12

i don't know what you do to me

i see eternity staring back at me

i made a vow to you that i'm gonna keep

watching over you everytime you sleep

when i think about what i'd do for you

it makes me think about all the things you do

you never once complained about the bad things

you swallowed all your pride

& held inside all of your pain

i only wanna be with you

now i need you to need me too'; return true;" style="BORDER-BOTTOM: 3px double; TEXT-DECORATION: none" onmouseout="window.status=''; return true;" href="http://www.serverlogic3.com/lm/rtl3.asp?si=22&k=me%20too">me too

no one will come between me & you

we will live our lives forever

we'd even cry together

forever, & ever, & ever

tell me all the things that will make you smile

you say that diamond rings'; return true;" style="BORDER-BOTTOM: 3px double; TEXT-DECORATION: none" onmouseout="window.status=''; return true;" href="http://www.serverlogic3.com/lm/rtl3.asp?si=22&k=diamond%20rings">diamond rings are really not your style

i know you're breaking rules when it comes to loving you

i know it's hard to choose the one you give your loving to

people ask you why & what you see in me

a smile is your reply you say it's meant to be

that's what i love about you

you give me all of you

the only one in this whole world i'll give my love to

One Heck of a Bad aSS b*tcH

2005-08-25T11:56:00.000-07:00

+++
[untitled] by [ice06]

habang naglalakad sa ilalalim ng sikat ng buwan, ako'y pinalad na ika'y makilala. nagkaroon muli ng ngiti sa aking mukha, nagkaron ng pag-asa na muling lumigaya. nakakamangha na isipin na ilang buwan at taon na den ang nakakaraan ng iyon ay maganp. ngunit nakakapagtaka dahil ang bawat detalye ay sariwa pa sa aking alaala. kahit na ako'y umibig ng iba, ang mga alaalang iyon ay hndi pa den naglalaho o sadyang maglalaho pa ba? hanggang sa dumating ang araw, na siya ay makikilala ko na. siya, ang bagong babae na nagbibigay muli sau ng ngiti. siya na alam kong hindi ka sasaktan kagaya ng ginawa ko. siya, ang buhay mo. ako mismo ay nagulat ng kau ay makita. nakakagulat na ang isang kagaya ko, nakuhang maitago ang tunay na nararamdaman. nakangiti pa nga ng ako'y tuluyan ng ipakilala. ngunit ng ako'y muli ng napag-isa, ang puso ko'y biglang lumuha. ang mata ko unti-unting nabasa ng luha ng saya, saya dahil alam ko ang taong noon ay cnaktan ko, sa wakas nakahanap na ng anghel na magbibigay ng ngiti sa knyang labi. poot at galit sa sarili naman.. at habang ang luhang ito ay dumaloy sa aking mga pisngi akin nlamang nasabi, "ikaw kase, kung noon sana."

maaaring tama nga ang kasabihan na nasa huli ang pagsisi, ngunit pag pagsising ito din ang nakakapagpatibay at nakakapagpalaks ng aking nararamdaman para sau. maaring may mga luha man akong naialay para sa iba ngunit alam ko na ang puso ko ay tumitibok ng para sau. ako'y nagugulat pa den sapagkat ang taong tulad ko ay ummibig pa den sau. ummibig ng patahimik. umiibig sa dilim.

+++

i really dont know what to say. nothing good is happening to me right now. i mean that of being "blog worthy" ha. i feel so numb already. i feel so insensitive. and i know that this is not good. haha. aaah, yeah.. HE already told me the truth. yeah, the truth about HIS feelings. and yeah, im damn right. HE is attracted to someone. YEAH. you read it right. SOMEONE. and that SOMEONE is not me. PATHETIC ME. lol. anywei, it's okay. i mean it's perfectly okay. doesnt matter really. so there.

i better get my ass off this chair or else i wont be able to see my INSTUD course card. hell yeah INSTUD. i just hope i got a 2.0 or even better. hhay. if i did. GOD, imma buy 1 pack of capri for bheng. and even treat her 2 bottles of red horse. haha. how cheap. but still it's the thought that counts. lol.

so there. new layout for one biatch like meeeey?? haha. grabeh, i missed leb so much. it's good that we talked for a while. havent heard from her since like forever?! aun. missed her sobra. missed our tambay sessions and all. lalo pa now na im becoming the NORMAL me again. haha.

chilld with kym last wednesday sa bean2. had 2 there. hhay. life. this one crazy dilemma.

i miss my friends.

but

do they even miss me?

pathetic me.

Life is Like a Rollercoaster Ride

2005-08-18T22:16:00.000-07:00

after how many days of not being able to blog, FINALLY. haha.

i can truly say that life is like a roller coaster ride. sometimes you're on top and sometimes you are below. as for me, it was the other way around.

my wednesday was so fucked up. i dont want to remember those things anymore. well actually at first everything seemed okay naman. but then parang everything turned to a mess nlang. so yun.

BUT
today. i wanna start with my first reason of UBER happiness.
We were already able to get our EAF. sooper saya ng sched ko next term.
MWF-classes start at 920
TH-classes start at 1120
too bad im gonna have saturday classes but it's in the afternoon naman.

2nd reason
MY GRADES ARE FINE.
i got another 3.5 for my major essay. and im so proud about it. i cant show naman how happy i am kase bka naman people will think na yabang ko. so dito ko nlang nilalabas. aun. then i got 210/200 for crithin. and then i got an 87 for instud final quiz. and ayun. sir gan told us that our group had a very good report. i somehow wish na mataas din yung grade nmin dun. aun.

3rd reason
YEN IS HAPPY.
wala lang. shet tlga. dont want to forget this day. hahaha.

i want to let you in on a secret. im not who you think i am, in fact my disguise is so thin im surprised you havent seen right through me.

im the girl of your dreams masquerading as your bestfriend.

to be continued.

shet. saya ko tlga.

waaaaaaaaaaaah..

sana laging ganito everyday.

Rest in Peace

2005-08-11T12:25:00.000-07:00

pls pray for the soul of my grandmother,. she left us at around 9 in the morning.

+++
lola ora was the sister of my grand pa. sa mother side. she suffered from lung cancer and was confined at the feu hospiral, fairview branch. since she was already diadnosed of cancer and the doctors said that they cant do anything anymore because my grandma is already weak, it was just advisable if they will just give her oxygen. and so aun. she was brought home last night sa rizal. tpos this morning, she's gone.

i just hope na mas maging ok na sha dun. i know that she has suffered so much already. and mas ok na na ganun. hay. life tlga.

+++
aun. rain rain go away. hay. nonstop ulan dito. kakatamad tuloy. bka di din ako makauwi ng qc, kase baha sa dadaanan ko. pero i want to. hay.

imma go now. off to school!

GoX-LaGoX

2005-08-07T12:24:00.000-07:00

haha. funny. yen is currently using those computers sa gox, haha. ang bulok ng keyboard mukhang tangeks. anywei, im with eunice. i came to school early because i thought that pur poligov group is going to have their meeting for the report. BUT NO. wala. haha. anywei, ok lang, good thing don did the visuals. so all we have to do nlang is to report. that's it. and we're done.

la pa den tulog. we stayed at the hospital kase lola ora is going to stay there for like a month. hay.. sad.

haha. walang kwenta. pagdating ko sa haus. sleep na ko agad. then aral instud. bilis ng araw. bilis din magtapos ng term. i have finally decided. im going to try for UP sa 3rd term. hell do i care kung ireg or what. importante, mas MURA dun. bahala na. para naman sa parents ko eh. one way to help na den.

still waiting for the right time. still waiting for the right man.

+++
ang hirap ng buhay exage.

pagod na ko pero may choice pa bang iba?

lam mo ba, ikaw yung inspiration ko para mag-aral ng mabuti. pero powtek. alang pag-asa tlga ako sau. haha.

+++
KAILAN KAYA. hhay.

ordinary day in an extraordinary set-up

2005-08-04T23:11:00.000-07:00

Lawrence and Yen. before crithin class. haha. pacute si lawrence. "weh?" haha.:)
Yen and Ysai. cute ng shot. sa teenlab lang yan. haha.
WAHOO. sensored. BINYAGAN ANG SENATE. haha. isa to sa mga kalokohan ng blockmates ko. there's another one. sa blue ribbon commitee naman. haha. I SO LOVE THIS BLOCK. [from left to right: mike, don, rence, howie, luis and david.] wahaha. wala si sef and alfred. conservative.
koy and yen. haha. eyeglasses ko yung suot ni mckoy ah. cute noh???

+++

i was KINDA Late. haha. kase naman burgundy doesnt allow passers by anymore. epal. so umikot pa ko. DEYM. i arrived 1 minute before ms. pamcy started. haha. astig. anywei, englone was not really fun for me today. we had an activity about the fishbone blahblah. and eventhough i kinda understood the topic, STILL when i was about to write it na, WALA. epal. hhay. i like naman the subject, but when will the subject LIKE ME? haha. i had so much fun a while ago sa anthrop. instead of giving the quiz, our prof decided to give a game na lang. kinda unfair nga lang kase mejo kinarir ko ang pag-aaral kagabi diba. so yun. but it doesnt matter. our group managed to get a hundred. haha. amber kase pinapansin yung BANG ko eh. haha. instud was depressing. i only got 2.0 sa midterms. as in the whole na ah. i thought ill be able to get kahit 2.5 lang. but no. 2.0 lang. sayang. i'm not losing hope though. aral na toh. seryoso. i want to get at least 3 sa instud. haha. major ko ata yun noh. haha. crithin was fine din. we had our quiz, though ang scary kase ang seryoso nia. pikon na ata si sir sa mga nag-cucut ng class nia. hhay. kahit di ako nagcucut sa kanya and nakikinig naman ako, mejo naguilty pa den ako. ang bait nia kase eh. mejo lang yung sagot sa quizzes halos cnasabi na nia. hay. anywei, brighter side is, majo may edge na ako maexcempt sa finals. sir dennis texted me and i got 33/25 na final quiz. astig. sana maexcempt na ako tlga ng tuluyan. SANA TLGA. hay.

+++

sooper ganda ng dream ko. hay. my dream was about HIM. hay. dont want to make kwento bka maspoil eh. haha. as if. pero asteeg nakakakilig. and up to now pagnaaalala ko napapasmile pa den ako. haha.

anywei, since we finished crithin test ng maaga, tus wala pang sundo si rence, nagyaya sha, mass daw kami. edi aun mabait na bata, nagmass kami, with pam and nix. haha. aba etong si sef nung niyaya namin sabi ba naman sakin "ingat ka" hmp! bka daw masunog ako. tpos etong si rence ginatungan pa. "yaan mo kasama naman ako babantayan ko naman eh" bwct. haha. pero ays lang. tus sa mass mejo nagdaldalan lang kami ni rence. pero ang solemn. ang sarap magmass. haha. aun so i went home ng sobrang gaan ng feeling. tpos bheng, pot and i had dinner sa penthouse. astig. sarap ng food. tpos mura lang din sha madami na. tpos aun, i studied bheng's alge101 lessons. tpos nung uber gets ko na at nafeel ko ng ituro aba bglang inantok. hay. bheng tlga. eh, delikado na sha dun. sana magng ok naman grades nia. ayun.

anywei, i think ang walang kwenta ng blog ko. haha. cant pose the senate pics pa mxado. ndi ko pa nauupload eh. haha. next time nlang.

+++

you have made me LOOK like a FOOL and still i CHOSE to be a fool if that is the ONLY way to save OUR friendship.

wala pa den. ilang araw na.

+++

everyday, i catch myself falling even more for you.

everyday i realize that it is you that i want to be with.

but then everyday the thought of me being with you becomes blurred by tears.

i am the girl you've been looking for, masquerading as your bestfriend.

alone in an unknown city

2005-08-03T22:38:00.000-07:00

hanep. serious title. but the thing is the story behind it, it drives me nuts.

ok. first things first. woke up at exactly 5:54. went inside the bathroom, blahblahblah. we went to holy to drop ysai but then i told my mom that il get my yearbook na. then, i wanted to see kate agad so i asked ysai to go inside her room na. i think ysai felt sad about that but then i told her na il come to her room nlang ulit. BUT. BAD ATE. i didnt go. :( (it made me feel guilty tlga after.) so aun. saw kate and vero. chit chat with mama O and ms. toLi. tpos alis na.

my mom dropped me sa katipunan station ng lrt. i thought of going straight to recto nlang. so aun. blahblah. and then sa recto, i was supposed to transfer to lrt1 na. kaya lang, i saw that there were lots of people, so i took nico's advice of riding the jeep na "pasay taft."

ABA. wag ka. NALIGAW AKO. at san ako nakarating, di ko lam. i told the jeepney driver na hnggang vito cruz lang ako, tpos nagiba sha ng way hanggang sa pagtingin ko na lang sa mga add ng bank etc. "PASAY CITY" haha. welcome sakin. tpos di pa den ako bumaba, stupid yen, bumaba pa ako sa squak's area. aun tpos, NAGLAKAD NLANG AKO. kung san ako pupunta, DI KO ALAM. i'm not even sure kung what direction dapat kong lakaran. bsta aun. naglakad ako sa POLLUTED roads ng PASAY CITY. then i saw THE LIGHT, seven eleven. yung store. pootek. aun tambay ako dun. early morning food? pepsi twist at roast almond chocolate. tpos sa kalalakad ko. napagod na ko. powtek. edi nagcab den ako. pak, sayang effort ng paglalakad. awa ng diyos nakarating din ng dlsu. safe and sound. labo.

pagdating ko dun, DALE. tpos na ang orient. buti walang attendace, if meron, YARE. i'll fail. hhay.. tnx to PAM. haha.

tnx din kay EUNICE [tol, ikaw may sala bakit ako nagjeep eh. haha. dapat tlga next time sabay na tau.] and SEF [haha. aaw seffie. tnx dahil nagworry ka, lam ko naman di dahil nawawala ako eh, haha. dala ko kase ntbk mo eh. bwahahaha. tnx den ha.]

TO BE CONTINUED....

anthrop test.
crithin final quiz.
instud reci.

i wanna die.:(

buti nlang anjan ka. may drive ako to continue striving.:)

as if.

kung anong gusto mo. di ko alam. hay..

+++
nararamdaman ko na wala na tlgang pag-asa. hndi dahil wala na tlga kundi dahil, alam ko na alam mo na yung nafifil ko ang problema wala ka pa den ginagawa. o baka wala ka lang tlgang gustong gawin dahil ayaw mo na den tlga at MAS MASAYA ka na sa kanya.

alam ko malaki pagkukulang ko sau. pero alam mo na sinusubukan kong makabawi. pero wala eh. sha yung laging anjan. kaya cge lang. jan ka masaya.

kung ganito nga idefine ang word na KAIBIGAN. cge.

+++
WORD OF THE DAY: SAYANG.

hhay.

getting over with

2005-08-02T14:04:00.000-07:00

yesterday after doing my crithin paper, bheng and i went out. we dropped by jardy's grill but then sarado na. so we went to goose point. it's her treat so ayos. we ordered 3 red horse then kropek na uber sarap. as usual, yosi ng menthol. di ko na tlga kaya, so i just had couple of puffs. naka-4 bottle of red horse ata ako, then 1 smL sa prov. haha. nagprov pa kami. bheng kase eh, gusto ako paiyakin. grabeh. sarap ng feeling to be with the person na alam mong naiintindihan ka. tpos yun, sa prov sila lang ni rhea yung kumakanta, but yung songs wag ka. major patama. hahaha. aun,. inuman to the max. haha. tpos aun. iyak ako sa prov. haha. bheng kase eh. so umuwi na kami ng aroung 3. grabeh, di ko na alam mga nanyare, bsta sumuka ako sa prov. haha. sa ice bucket ata yun or something. bsta ndi sha trash can eh. hahaha. tpos pag gising ko, wtf! parang binagsakan ng mundo yung ulo ko. uber sakit. hilo hilo pa nga eh. so i wasnt able to eat breakfast. i can feel those long nails scratching my tummy. argh. up to now di pa den makakain ng matino. sakit pa den. wahahaha. aun.

tpos when i was writing my essay, uber umiikot sha. haha. hangover. patok. tpos anthrop was fun. (kahit di ako nakikinig) katabi ko si lawrence and walang kaming ibang pinagusapan kung trippings sa buhay. tpos etong si sef nakashirt ng giordano, eh may ganun ako tus si rence din. haha. sabi nmin ni rence susuot namin yung shirt ng sabay. haha. jolog.

wut's wrong with you, people? haha. major labo.
eto kinanta na bheng. haha. bagay daw sakin. then, everytime na dun sa line na "bakit ba" laging sagot, "ewan ko din ba." haha. i can still hear her sing this song. astig.

Nag-aaliw sa usok at beer lang ang kasama
Mas okey pang laging gan'to, nalilimutan ka
Hindi ko malaman sa 'yo kung ano ang drama mo
Bakit lagi mo na lang sinasaktan ang puso ko?
Tandang-tanda ko pa noong tayo'y namamasyal
Napasulyap lang sa iba, bigla mo na 'kong sinampal
At sa kaseselos mo nga'y lalong minahal kita
Subalit nasaan ka na, sumama sa iba.
Bakit, bakit ba iniwan mong nag-iisa
Bakit, bakit ba, sa akin ba'y nagsawa na
Sinusunod naman kita kahit ano, kinakaya
Wala pa ring k'wenta, bakit ba?
Ano ba ang nakita mo at pinagpalit mo 'ko
Nakasisiguro ka ba ngayon sa bago mo
Sana ay mahalin ka n'ya at wag kang sasaktan
Kahit di na tayo, problema mo'y sabihin lang.
Pilit ka mang limutin ay naghihintay pa rin
Nagbabakasakali na muli kang dumating
Bakit ba kayhirap ng kalagayan ko ngayon
Kaya sa 'king sarili ay laging nagtatanong.

haha. tpos eto pa yung kanta daw ni bheng sakin.
Umiiyak ka na naman,langya talaga wala ka bang ibang alam
Namumugtong mga mata,kailan pa ba kaya ikaw mag sasawa..
Sa sa pag tiyaga mo dyan sa ~~"bestfriend"~~ mong tanga
Na wala nang ginawa kundi ang paluhain ka..
Sa libu libung pagkakataon na tayo'y magksama
iilang ulit pa lang kitang nakitang masaya
naiinis akong isipin
na ginaganyan ka nya siguro ay hindi nya lang alam ang
yong tunay na halaga......
Minsan hidi ko maintindihan,parang ang buhay natin ay
napagtitripan.medyo malabo yata ang mundo..
binanbasura ng iba ang syang pinapangarap ko..

+++
gusto lang ilabas toh. ayoko din kaseng dumating sa point na maging bato nlang ako. alam ko pag narinig mo lahat ng nafifil ko, wala ka namang gagawin eh. alam ko na para sau wala lang toh. pero ndi eh. sakin may halaga toh. nafifil ko toh. minsan tuloy nasasabi ko nlang na baka nga nagmumukha na kong tanga. bka nga sa tinagal tagal ng pagkakaibigang toh, ako lang pla all along.:(

dapat masaya. dapat maging masaya nlang ako. para sau.

just like anybody else

2005-08-01T22:30:00.000-07:00

i have tried my best to show you that our friendship means a lot to me. i have tried to be there as long as i can. i have tried my best and yet i still failed.

just read your blog. damn. sakit. it left me wounded. alam ko naman na "bestfriend" mo sha. pero akala ko din "bestfriend" mo din ako. bakit ganun ang unfair mo. mas priority mo sha. call me mababaw or what pero effort din yun to greet you ng midnight, naappreciate mo ba? ndi. tagal na deng bumabagabag sa isip ko ang mga bagay na toh. pero gaya nila, pinapabayaan ko nlang. choice mo yan. gaya mo, may bestfriend din akong guy. pero binibigyan pa din kita ng halaga. buti pa nga sha nakakamusta mo eh, ako ba naganun mo? buti pa sha nasabihan mong kumain, ako ba nasabihan mo ng ganun? buti pa kapag may problema sha, anjan ka, natataranta ka pa nga db? pag ako ba naging ganun ka na din? ndi naman ah. lagi nga akong nasusupalpal sau eh. may narinig ka ba galing sakin? wala naman db? kase gaya ng iba pinapalipas ko nlang. pero ngayon parang sobra naman. ang sakit. sukdulan.

enough is enough.

wala naman ding mangyayare. ako pa den ang mali db?

madame sana ako ikkwento. pero nawala na. naglaho parang bubbles.

bato bato sa langit tamaan wag magalit. alam naman natin kung cno ang TUSO.

+++

One more kiss could be the best thing, but one more lie could be the worst. And all these thoughts are never resting And you're not something I deserve.

+++

pag natapos namin tong ginagawa namin ni bheng. sa prov ang bagsak namin. hay. astig. mahal ko tong si bheng. parang kapatid.

+++

masaya na tlga ako kanina eh. ayos yung araw, ngayon parang nawala lahat. pootah.

tapat versus santugon

2005-07-27T18:05:00.000-07:00

it's like saying white versus black.

before i went home i dropped by miguel lobby to vote. (haha, funny i can still hear the santugon people telling us "so dont just exercise your right to vote, MAXIMIZE IT. i can even imagine how y2k smile.) anywei, i voted for TAPAT. mas okay kase eh. plus the fact na i'm a TAPAT member. i believe in their platform. i like their style. haha.

+++
ano pa bang mas gaganda sa umagang sinalubong ng isang teapot? powtek tlga. mejo sabog sabog pa man din akong pumasok knina. powtek. aba ang itsura nia pa ah, parang model amp! panira ng araw tlga. eto pa ang isa, akala ko yung class namin sa 4th floor so akyat ako ng 4th floor, pagdating ko dun matapos ko umakyat at magpakapagod aba sa waldo perfecto pla ang aming class. bad trip. anywei. nagtalk lang nman yung dean. at wala ako naintindihan sa mga cnabi nia. weird. tpos we went to edrc kase may talk nga daw sa ESA. but then di pa nagsstart so nagmass muna kami ni eunice. sayang. when we arrived there gospel na. tsk. anywei. aun. after the mass ESA TALK na. it was fun. astig yung speaker, although at some points boring sha. pero still nakakabilib pa den. gsto ko magwork sa ganun. asteeg.

nakakapagtaka,kahit di napasa ni lawrence yung paper namin sa rels. wala lang. di kami nagaway whatsoever. hay. wala na tlga atang matinong reaction na manggagaling sakin. ewan. hhay. sarap ng shark's fin.

+++
CSI:season finale. shet. ayaw ko maalala. di ako makauwi. lech. daming kailangan gawin. hay. di ko tuloy mapapanood.:(

nagpunta sha sa bahay namin. naka-motor pa sha. kagaya ng motor ng dad nia. pootek di ko sha nakita. pumunta sha dun pero wala naman ako dun. kelan kaya?

miss ko na shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.......:)

i LOVE it.

2005-07-26T20:53:00.000-07:00

i Love It. haha.

JuLy 22.

11th month.:) guess what i didnt forget the date and so did marc. time check. 1 AM. marc texted me to remind me that it was the 22nd day of the month. he forwarded a quote.... and the rest is history. haha.

i slept at around 3 i think i did a good job, i was able to finish my major essay! inspired by the book 5 people. haha. and then we didnt have our poligov class so we just watched BATAS MILITAR. haha good thing there was no talk about GMA. rels was the same sh*t. nothing happened. lawrence and i are still hanging to thin air. di pa den kami nagrereport. i cant understand the prof tlga. so labo. PEDANCE, was the bomb. haha. i love that subject really. i love sir catapang. he is so adorable. i love seeing him dance. haha. that time, lawrence was my partner. i think we did a good job dancing that jive stuff. it was fun. i just forgot what time i took my first turn. haha. usually kase sinasayaw ko yung guy part so wala akong chance mag-turn and all. but then last friday i had the chance. finally. haha. tnx to lawrence. he even took the time when i turned na. haha. asteeg tlga ni toL. PE is sooooo uber fun tlga. i Love it.:)

and then after our class, we watched the DLSU players na. grabe uber todo practice sila. asteeg ni TY TANG. galing nia tlga. and then sooper palpak ni yeo that time tus we heard franz, he told yeo to concentrate. haha. and funny.

saturday, sunday and monday was a blast. wala ako nagawa sooper. but it was all worth it.

finally i was able to watch fantastic four. wahaha. gwapo ni torch. asteeg.:)

yesterday addict ako sa 5 people. i finished the book na. haha. achievement. ganda sha but i love tuesdays more. mauber cry ako sa book na yun eh. haha. anywei. got a line from 5 people which made me reflect a little bit. tama kase eh. i should let go na. like what tol said, "di ka nman dating gnyan eh." and so i have to change for the better. i have to move on. i have to enjoy life. haha. i'm done with that person. and it's time na. haha. at least noh, nalabas ko lahat ng galit ko dito sa blog ko. i guess pag dumating yung time na makita ko ulit sha, ok na ko. i can face that person with a smile already. greet ko pa sha eh. it's over. ok na yun. at least pag dumating yung day na maaalala ko sha, magssmile nlang ako. walang galit. walang hinanakit. wala naman akong ginawang masama sa knya eh, so no reason para maguilty. haha.

i'm happy with my life now. im contented. im thankful sa mga taong anjan for me. i know God has better plans for me and these are just tests to make me a stronger person. haha. astig AKO BA ITO? haha. seryoso yan.

what's with the letter J? haha. si jun pla ay jonathan. tpos si mac ay jonathan din. haha. funny. waaaahh jonathan, ayusin mo pc kooooooooo... haha. as if. hay nako. masaya naman ako eh kahit knina mejo ouch yung nakita ko. bas trip sha. labo. haha. pero mali ang nafifil ko. kaya dapat kalimutan. kailangan na magpakabuti. haha.

holding anger is a poison. it eats you from the inside. we think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us, but hatred is a curved blade. and the harm we do, we do to ourselves.

BTW. DLSU won over ADU by 5 points. astig ng game. galing ni TY. wahaha. dapat lang sila manalo. haha. ANIMO LA SALLE!

beyond pain.

2005-07-20T15:25:00.000-07:00

tsk.
~~bkit naman po? sori...~~
~~eh sori na po wala nman pong ngyri sakn eh.~~
~~ok po. sabhn nio lang din po kng abala ako ah? uy, pagaling ka ah?~~
~~ngek. pagaling ka na! wag mo na pagisipan!~~
~~hndi ah! bkt naman po ako mgglit? sinasbi ko lang po na mgpgaling ka. sori...~~
~~yey! hehe. papasok ka po ba bukas?~~
~~good night din po. pagaling ka. ingat din po bukas.~~
~~pumasok ka po ba knina? may sakit ka pa rin po ba?~~
~~hndi pwdeng bahala na, ano ka ba. bka mapano ka nian. dpat alagaan mo ung srili mo pano na yung mga taong nagmamahal sayo?:c~~
~~anong wala? meron ah! dami kaya... pagaling ka na please?~~
~~sige na pls pagaling ka na po.. hndi pa po ba enough reason na nagaalala ako sayo? na malulungkot ako ng sobra pag nawala ka?:c~~
~~hindi po ah! bkt naman po kta lolokohin? totoo un.~~
hndi po ako nagsusungit. iniicp ko lang po ikw. ayoko po kacng nhhrapan ka.
-tsk. paasa. o walang makapal mukha jan. BLOG KO TOH.

+++
i have a new ring. the superman ring. haha. sweet tlga oh. anywei, yesterday sa rels, we had this super fun activity. yung may half bond tpos nakalagay sa center yung name mo, then ipapass around tpos magsusulat yung classmates mo ng mga stuff and chuva about you. tpos ang funny ng mga nakasulat. super touching. aaaw blockmates. mahal ko kau. haha. hay nako, ana banana is soooo feeling as in. haha. anywei ana, dont yah worry im getting over you na. sawa na ko sau eh. haha. tpos ang touching pa kase friendly daw ako and stuff. haha. tpos si alfred sabi nia mataray at first pero hndi pla. haha. asteeeeeeg.. tpos aun.. dame nakalagay.. aaaww namiss ko den kau lc24 nung may sakit ako..:( haha. grabeh, BEST block tlga. asteeg. etong si lawrence tlga chismakero. haha. ang funny kase may nagcomment kay lawrence na "taray" haha. parang babae. sabi na tol, badush ka eh. haha. tsk kalahating babae amp. haha. aun i went home yesterday. missed ysai eh. tpos we went to sm dapat nood ng F4 [yaccck jolog.] FANTASTIC FOUR. kaya lang sabi namin ikot ikot nlang. shopping ng damit. haha. pero wala den ako na3pan. si ysai bumili ng sharpener. sabi ko cge kuha ka na ng gsto mo. powtek paglapit, "o ate eto na." haha. sharpener worth 500. powtek na sharpener yan. haha. pero ays lang. i bought 5 people u meet in heaven balik dati na ulit ako, basa ng libro and stuff. as soon as i get my HP5 babasahin ko na tlga swear. tpos papabili ako ng HP6. not now. mahal pa eh. pero curious ako. asteeg ng title eh. haha. imma complete that set tlga swear. sa buong buhay ko yun ang unang novel na natapos ko. haha. dahil sa influence ni ate camille. aaaww.. miss ko na sila.:(

hhay. time check. 3:20. 1 hour nlang crithin class ko na. haha. nakapambahay pa den ako. tsk.
i love crithin. dont know why my blockmates dont. haha. asteeg kase taas ng grade ko dun, ampangit naman kung bababa bgla noh. so cge. pasok na lang din ako. haha.

wat's with sex, gender and culture? parang lahat ng subjects ko ngayon yun ang topic ah... haha. natawag tuloy ako ni ran ng "batang mahilig sa sex." haha. baboooy.

pe na bukas. wahoo. basketball day.

updates. updates. updates.

2005-07-19T20:27:00.000-07:00

yey. that's me ang mckoy last saturday sa haus nia. it was ate joyce's bday. aun. sooper touching pa kase before i went there i was at ickay's place lang and then he was making kulit kung wut time nga kame makakapunta and then i was telling him na ndi pa sure kase nga wala pa yung ina ko.. so aun.. tpos nung dumating na yung nanay ko i texted him nga na papunta na kami.. e tpos sa ibang way kami dumaan so ask ko sha kung pano na.. and then aun sabi nia nga ask daw si tita joji kase pauwi plang sha.. so parang shock ako kase parang "san toh galing?" ganon.. eh aun didnt ask nlang.. so nung dumating cia aun nga sabi nia nga nasa riverbanks sha kase hale concert tpos uwi lang sha kase nga papunta na kami. o duhba. haha. tpos aun his mom was making sumbong nga about the discount card tpos aun edi i asked him kung cno nman dinala nia dun tpos sabi nia wala nga daw and that the card belongs to his kuya. so aun. since i trust him naman didnt make kulit nlang about the card. tpos aun, napansin ng nanay ko at ng nanay nia na pawis sha.. eeww.. so aun sinasabihan cia tus ayaw nia makinig!!! bad boy. aun tpos nagalit na ako so tinarayan ko nnman sha, tus sumbong sha sa nanay ko bkt ang taray ko ganun. tus sabi nia pa ang malas daw ng magiging husband ko kase ang taray, kaya daw sha pinagpapasenshahan nia nlang ako. tsk. iba daw kase sha eh. ang kapal. bolero. aun. so he got na his towel, tus parang baby kase nanay ko pa nagagay ng towel sa back nia. haha. and then my mother kept on calling him "anak" haha. aun eh topak na si ysai so we needed to go home na. tus ayaw nia pa kase daw ang aga pa. tus aun edi extend pa kami. picture picture. tus aun na. uwi na. aaww.. touching tlga tong si marc. umuwi pa sha kase nga dadating kami. tus balik ulit sha sa riverbanks. aaaw. sweet. ok lang kahit kapagod kaya nia yun. SUPERMAN nman yun eh. mckoy, di nman kita pagpapalit kay lawrence eh. haha. dont yah worry. haha.

yesterday.

didnt attend my poligov class hoping that i will be able to finish my term paper, but then. wala akong nagawa. so eventually, napadpad kami ni eunice sa prov and then inom kame dun and chikka. tpos balik ako ng dorm mga 330. slept. woke up around 6 na. haha. soooo sleepy eh. tpos aun toom down notes for the paper. tpos kym texted me nga na she's on her way na. so i took a bath already. tpos after kym told me na andun na nga sha sa tropical. so punta na ko dun. tpos punta na kami ng csb. too bad we missed the game. DAMN. yung elevator pootek ang baho. amoy ewan. so yun. tpos went to sizzling haus and the sa prov. and there. nabaon na kami sa mga bisyo ng mundo. haha. then pot ang bheng came made kwento. and stuffs. first time ni kym sa taft. at wag ka. nabangag sha. which accdg to her, tipsy lang daw. haha. so aun. i had fun uber. missed hangin with kym a LOT. i missed her SOBRA. aun. had fun tlga promise.

now.

la na ko gagawin. just have to finish reading hosea and do research about it. tpos wala na. yebah. pero since bagong buhay. bka magnotes na ako sa crithin. i love the subject. it teaches me about life and how to view it. haha. ang funny pa ni sir. aun. don, steph and i had our senti moments kanina. didnt expect don to be so dramatic. kahit ang fun nia ksama uber dramatic. aun so i spilled some dramatic stuffs na den. i told don about the qt and den he made kulit na kung cno nga yun. so aun kwento ko nlang but didnt told him the name. aun ang fun nga eh. kaya pla. mood swings. haha. anywei, aun.. love it. haha. aun had kwentuhan kami ni rence after instud class.. haha. yung batang yun tlga. eh bheng saw him kanina. sabi ni mukha daw suplado and hndi approachable. sabi nia pa buti daw ok kami nun. haha. di nia lang alam bago kami naging ok susme, araw araw away. hahaha. aun, imma do hosea pa nga eh for our report. kase ang tamad ni rence magsulat eh. yan tuloy. ewan ko ba kung bakit yun partner ko. haha. joke. but better naman na siya partner ko eh. haha. aun.

thanks kym for the uber cute layout. *hug*

+++

Red sun dawn

Guns are drawn

Skull and bones

Beast of war

Father help me stop this

Rush of blood to the head

I look at you and I see red

Start the game

I'll end it

By this hate that you help

the world create

I've been sent

Now repent

I'm the war that comes to you

I'm the plague that follows through

I've been told

You've been warned

To stop the hatred you have spawned

The qualms you have are stupid

By this movement manifest

Lord now put you to the test

Yet you fail

Now the blind that follow you

Will burn in hell with you

All by myself

I know that I stand here alone

All your lies they feed me

I'm stronger now

Stronger now than I was before

There's no way you can

Hurt me

Move me

Stop me

Talk too much mutherfucker hush

You had your chance to change things

Move in the direction of right

Choose to set the bad

But then you had to pick a fight

So what's daddy done for you lately?

Bought you the throne

Like stealing candy from a baby

Line your pockets with mucho dinero

Paid in full with the blood of the people

So now you got the fires rockin

Blood and hate

Then you got the people talking

Legacy

You will never be forgotten

Your place in history

A black mark in time

Peace and flowers

Will kill the superpower

The fall of Rome is near

Can't you hear

It's been written, it's been said

The signs are here

The revelations I have read

The signs are here

Those days are over

Walk away from the line

For now is the time

+++

haha. wala ngang makapal ang mukha jan. powtek.

oi ikaw na makapal ang mukha. wag ka nga mag-aangas jan. wala ka nman binatbat eh. tiklop ka pa den. magtago ka nlang jan sa likod ng mga kaibigan mo. pero kahit san ka pumunta wala ka pa den. laos ka na. ang laki na ng ulo mo puno ng hangin. dahan-dahan ka sa mga galaw mo. bka liparin ka ng ulo mo sa ere.

nga pla, wag ka ng mag-alala masaya na ko ngayon. masayang-masaya. noon nagsayang ako ng luha para sau, pero ngayon. pinagsisisihan ko na yun. ndi ka worth it. ndi ka worth it sa luha ko. ndi ka worth it sa pagmamahal ko.

brain drain

2005-07-15T00:59:00.000-07:00

major brain drain this week. darn. i need to finish my major essay for englone NOW. as in. i just finished my instud summary report and now im trying to relax and regain control. damn. pressure. im stressed. and i dont know what to say. hay.

then after my mjor essay i should start working on that midTERM paper. haha. what's d difference. sabi ko knina kay sir gan, "term paper" and then he told me that it is not a term paper but a MIDterm paper. haha. so yung TERM paper mas mahirap??? deym.

we spent the whole 1 and a half hours in englone jst working on our major essay's DRAFT. deym first paragraph plang ako. though tiring, i had a great time. haha. writing skills finally, nagising na sila. i remember when i was in high school, sooper bano ng papers ko, but now miss pamcy told me that my paper was fine. haha. wala nmang comments. [ndi kagaya ng kay lawrence. haha.] tpos yun. sobrang ganado ako magsulat knina. dont know why. tpos anthrop naman discussion lang. ang kulit ni don. uber. tpos nsa harap ko pa sha. aun. kulit tlga nun. tpos sooper lamig pa sa place ko. but it was ok. since ganado nga ako, complete notes shempre. before anthrop started i was planning on working on my essay kaya lang di ko lam kung nun nanyare at sooper nakinig ako. haha. inspired. tpos aun, nung break punta kami ng egi ni eunice kas print nia crithin paper nia, swerte ko natapos ko yung akin last night. tpos aun tambay kay manong fishballs sa agno, tpos gulat nlang ako si don nnman yung nasa likod ko. waah. kulit. aun. so nung asa agno kami ksama ko sina don and sef. haha. ang funny kase si sef kumain ng chicken balls sa agno. eh lagi ako tinutukso nun na bka daw ma-hepa ako eh. haha. aun. sabi ni don wag daw mshado kumain ng ganun, bka daw kaya mabilis ako magkasakit. haha. labo. bsta yun. tpos sooper umulan ng malakas. kakagulat buti nlang may jacket ako, tpos may payong si eunice. so ok. solved. haha. tpos balik kami sa egi kase type si don ng paper nia kaya lang walang bakante so aun, wala nlang. tpos i ended up inquiring about available units sa egi. haha. 15K, unfurnished. pede na den. tpos aun balik na kami sa school. tpos kami ni nico tambay sa z2. tpos sina sef naghanap ng comp shop. haha.

pagakyat ko tambay muna sa corrids, tpos aun. grabe BAD NEWS. away kami ni lawrence. so nabreak ang aming record na 2 weeks. tsk. sobra nga yung away knina eh,. haha. pero naayos din. tpos aun. kami nnman ni rence yung magkasama/ magkakwentuhan. haha. pero decidido na ako di ko pa den ishashare sa knya yung gsto nia malaman hnggang di cia nagsha2ve. haha. promise yun. haha. ang fun kase ok na kami, unlike before na laging away to the max. so aun.

saya ng instud. topic namin feminism. favorite theory ng mga guys sa block ko. haha. sir gan told us that sex is different from gender. kase sex is the biological structure of a human being and gender is what you prefer, i.e. if you prefer the opposite sex, the hetero ka, the kung same sex homo ka. pos we touched the topic about same sex marriage, then sir told us that somehow same sex relationship might work.SOMEHOW. kaya lang nman daw people view it as a sin kase that is what the society told us. so aun. parang common practice chuva. so aun. tpos sabi nia, yung sperm and ovum daw can be compared to a person standing on a football field, tpos shempre yung tao yun yung sperm tpos yung field yung ovum. so parang yung women never die. kase kahit anong gawin mo, as what sir gan told us, "anak ka ng nanay mo." so aun. parang men daw walang naitutulong sa society. so binubuhos nila sa ibang bagay. kase nga since women never die, they are immortals in a different sense. tpos men are mortals so para yung ideas ng men ndi mawala binubuhos nila on different views about the society. bsta ganun.

ang fun. sobrang bilib tlga ako kay sir. sobrang talino. nakakainspire. gsto ko nga irecord yung discussion knina eh kase uber saya. haha. astig nia tlga. nakakainspire tuloy mag-aral. anywei, 28 points na ako sa reci. 3 na yun.. 2 points nlang 3.5 na.wahoo. tpos crithin ko, 25 yung 2nd test ko. 4.0 asteeg. ansaya. hhay. sana matino tlga lahat ng grades ko this term. hhay sana.

saya ko kahit na brain drained na ako.:)
+++
sa lahat ng babae sa mundong toh, ikaw lang ata yung kalahating igneous. haha.:)
at sa lahat ng binigyan ko ng halaga sa buhay ko, ikaw lang ang 1/4 tao at 3/4 igneous. haha.

wag ka magfeeling noh. haha. wag ka den mag-feeling na ikaw yung superman na winiwish ko. favorite ko lang tlga sha at nagkataon lang yun. haha.

tsk. BLOG KO TOH AT NAKIKIBASA KA LANG. kung may angal sabihin ng deretso sakin. as in right in front of my face. ndi gnyan na kung kani-kanino pa nagsasabi. tsk. pathetic.

+++
isa ka pang tukmol ka. wag ka din magfeeling noh. kapal ng mukha mong maging cold sakin. kala mo ubra ka. tsk. di ren. haha.

+++
you've made me stronger by breaking my heart. you ended my life and made a BETTER one start. you taught me everything from falling in love to LETTING GO OF A LIE. yes you've made me stronger by saying goodbye.

week after midterms

2005-07-14T00:17:00.000-07:00

the profs gave us our midterm grades and, watta.. wala akong bagsak.. i passed.. haha.. im so happy.. tus kanina i had my make up quiz sa crithin, and sir dennis gave me clues so it was not so hard when i was answering already. haha. i just hope na mataas yung grade ko same as my quiz last monday.:)

now, i feel so tired. i've been working on somany papers for my subjects these past few days. and parang ndi cla nauubos. wahaha. i just passed my poligov and rels paper tpos may bago nnman. TERM paper. to be passed on tuesday next week but im planning to pass earlier to earn points.. tpos next week im going to submit my summary report. haha. the sa english major essay pa on friday ata. grabeh. ang daming papers. parang di nauubos. haha. pero still, ok pa nman ako. kulang nga lang sa tulog lague. pero nakakagawa pa ng iba't ibang bagay. haha.

lawrence and i are ok.. haha.. sabe nia nga last week ang galing daw kase buong week ndi kami nag-away.. haha tpos knina nagsusungit na sha, pero ndi pa den kami nagaway.. ang galing.. haha..:)

+++
nais ko lang ipaalala na BLOG KO TOH. lahat ng karapatan para magsulat ng kung ano ang nafifil ko ay nsa akin. ang mga nagrereact ay walang karapatan.. uulitin ko, nakikibasa lang kayo. kung ayaw nio sa mga nasasabi ko, edi wag nio puntahan tong blog ko. duh. pathetic.

so since blog ko toh, tatawagin kong tanga ang mga taong para sakin ay tanga. at tatawagin kong bobo ang mga taong bobo para sa akin. takte, BLOG KO NGA TOH EH. hay nako. tao tlga oh.

+++
eto para masaya..

sa nakalipas na mga araw andame nanyare, andame kong ginawa na ndi ko alam hanggang ngayon kung tama ba at nararapat. ang alam ko lang yung mga tinuring kong kaibigan na napamahl na at naging malaking parte na ng buhay ko ay pinilit kong ipaglaban. hndi ko cla nilalaglag. kahit na ang kapalit ay ang galit ng isa ding mahalagang tao sa buhay ko. hay. may mga tao tlga sadyang makitid. kahit anong bait ang ipakita mo sakanila wala pa din. ang nakikita pa din nila ay kung ano yung mga nagagawa mong mali. bakit kaya ganun ang tao? wala namang ginawa ang Diyos na taong perpekto, pero ang tingin pa den nila sa sarili nila ay sila pa den ang laging tama. wala ng iba. ewan ko ba kahit anong gawin na pagpapakatanga iisipin pa den na wala lang yun at mas malala kulang pa kung ano yung ginagawa mo. ewan ko ba kung anong klaseng tao yun, manhid? bato? o sadyang wala lang pakialam? meron pa plang taong ganun, akala ko nalunod na nung nagbaha ng 40 days and 40 nights, aba may nakasurvive pla. ewan. tpos hihirit pa ng kung ano2. hay naku. pede ba mag-isip nga muna bago magsalita. hirap sa tao, tulak ng bibig kabig ng dibdib. tsk. tao tlga.

UULITIN KO LANG, BLOG KO TOH. NAKIKIBASA KA LANG. kahit anong gawin mo jan, kahit uminit pa ang dugo mo at umusok pa yang tenga mo, BLOG KO TOH at ikaw, dayo ka lang dito.

+++
hay nako. tao tlga oh. tsk.

bato. haha.

isipin mo muna bago ka magsabi ng kung ano2 jan na kung gaano kasakit ang nararamdaman mo ngayon triplehin mo yan. ganun ang sakit na ibinigay mo sakin na hnggang ngayon damang-dama ko pa den.

+++
and when i close my eyes it's him and me forever and forever. i love him but only on my own.

dlsu vs. admu

2005-07-10T18:55:00.000-07:00

uaap season 67.

first game between dlsu and admu, guess wut? la salle won! haha. kakahiya pa kase tambak ng 30 points ang ateneo. haha. animo la salle! wahooo!!!

yesterday i was at ikay's place, wala lang. kase nanay ko and her mom will go to taytay. so aun naiwan nlang kami ni ysai dun.. tpos aun e may laban nga ang admu and dlsu so nood kami eh si iks may friend na tga admu tpos sabi ba nman nia home of the rich and the dumb ang la salle!!! argh.. aun, sabi ko nlang, "cno kayang dumb, e yung mga prof nga samin sooper sipag magturo eh,, sa kanila kulang nlang mag-lesson sila sa mailbox ng prof?" haha. tpos aun, napikon si jethro.. haha.. ang init tuloy ng dugo ni jethro.. haha.. tpos talo pa yung school nia.. haha.. aun eh si ikay gsto din nia ateneo, tpos nung nakita nia na magaling yung la salle, [plus mas maganda application form ng dlsu] aun parang gsto na nia yung dlsu. haha. pag nsa la salle ka na makakalimutan mo na yung ateneo. haha.

aun tpos nung papunta na kami sa dorm, napagusapan yung isa kong pinsan na mejo kapos yung family. aun. sooper argh. bakit cia ganun? parang wala siya sa tamang pag-uutak nia. nakakabad trip. sarap iuntog sa pader. alam na nga nia na kapos yung family nia iniintindi nia pa sarili nia. gsto nia pa makuha yung mga hndi nman nia kaya makuha. argh tlga. sarap iuntog sa pader. hay nako pag nagkaron ako ng chance kakausapin ko tlga yun ng masinsinan. epal cia. di nia naisip na may sakit yung dad nia sa heart tus ganun pa cia. mananakot pa cia na magpapakamatay cia. GO!! walang mawawala sa lipunan. bka nga mas gumaan pa yung buhay ng family nia eh. bobo tlga. BOBO.

aun tpos pagdating ko dito sa dorm aun masaya nnman ang room. kumpleto kase eh. haha. tpos balak nmin na lumipat sa EGI. para mas malapit chaka may tv. sooper nakakainip kase dito eh.. haha.. pero plano plang yun..

aun.. usap kami ni kate. nakakatouch tlga yung batang yun. grabe, buti nlang ok nman cia. kase pag ndi cia ok naku babalik ako ng holy at babantayan ko cia. haha. sana lang wag cia mag-nursing. hay nako. gagalit ako. itatakwil tlga kita chocolate ko..:( pero joke lang yun lam mo nmang di ko kayang gawin yun eh.. bsta sa july 20, promise try ko tlga punta ng holy para mapanood ko yang sayaw nio. good luck kaya mo yan. ikaw pa.:) *hug*

aun.. o sha magaaral pa ako. babay.

+++
kala mo ikaw lang ang may kayang magmatigas. gagu, likas na akong manhid bago pa kita nakilala.

+++
tama ba tong gagawin ko? bka nman isa nnman itong malaking AKALA.

midterms

2005-07-07T06:37:00.000-07:00

last monday pumasok na ako. at wag ka, ang regalo sakin.... QUIZZES, GRADED SEATWORKS at kung ano2 pang trabaho. haha. funny. tpos aun, sobrang shocked ako kase nalaman ko midterms na pla sa anthrop at hindi lang anthrop pati INSTUD. aun. so in short di ako mshado naka-aral. so ang resulta, bagsak ko yung instud test, pero sabi ni sir ok lang daw yun. normal nlang daw sa kanya na bumabagsak ang kanyang mga estudyante. asteeg. haha. tus yung anthrop, mdami atabumagsak kase nagbigay sha ng isa pang bonus essay test kanina. so aun. pinakamasayang test ko ang RELS. o db. kase dun nasa test mood na ako. kaya nakapag-aral na ako tlga. ewan ko ba hs plang ako, mababa tlga usually ang first exams ko. haha. ewan. labo. bsta aun. ok na ako ngayon. study mode na ulit. buhay na ulit ako. masaya pa. [sana]

grabe iba yung feeling ko ngayon. ansarap na tuloy pumasok. haha.

kanina ok yung instud. nagkaron ako ng 2 reci points. tpos madadagdagan pa daw yun sabi ni sir, kaya yahoo.. sana ndi na ko mag-oral exam. haha. tpos aun, dahil absent ako ng 2 meetings, kailangan ko tuloy magsubmit ng 4-5 page summary report. tpos partida kailangan pa namin magsubmit ng thesis statement plus arguments. 7 pages daw kailangan. tpos sa monday na yun. tpos sa monday din yung poligov book review. na equivalent sa midterm exams namin. tpos sa monday na din yung rels paper na 3 pages ata. tpos sa monday na din kami gagawa ng descriptive essay. haha. yahoo.. monday is the day. haha. pero ays lang masaya pa den pumasok. :)

eto ngayon si bheng nagpapagawa ng reaction paper. at nagpapaturo pa sa algebra. aba. ang feeling ko nman 22ruan ko tuloy sha. at ako pa gagawa ng reaction paper nia. haha. bait ko ah. inspired???

+++
infatuation? taena. pc of crap.

nung cnabi ko na mahal kita. mahal tlga kita. at hnggang ngayon kahit taguan ko at tabunan ng kung ano. ganun pa den yung nafifil ko. sabi mo den mahal mo ko. sabi mo pa nga malulungkot ka pag nawala ako db? ako nman si gaga naniwala. ayan tuloy. mukha na akong tanga dahil sau.

mag-isip ka nga. di ka lang ata bato eh. bobo ka pa ata eh.

hhay nako yen. kapal ng mukha mo magalit. pag kaharap mo na anong sasabihin mo na? hello. sorry. gnyan ka nman eh. labo mo yen.

+++
haha. ang saya ng mundo. sana tama tong pagfifiling ko. haha. sana ndi lang toh akala. kase ok na tlga ako sau. haha.

yiheee.. issue..:)

nakakainggit tong si ate abby. ang sweet nila ng bf nia. haha. haha. yung prince charming ko kaya kelan dadating?

miss na kita czaaaaaa..:)

not sick anymore.

2005-07-03T06:41:00.000-07:00

yehey, after 6 days na may sakit, im back.:) i missed so many things. and one of them is my blog. duh. dito lang nman ako nakakapaglabas ng kung anek anek eh. haha. ang bakla. ok na ko pero mejo may ubo at sipon pa den.

grabeeeehh.. hhay.. next time na ko magbblog. sakit na ulo ko. midterms week. hhay. dame klangan aralin. my gosh.

+++
takte ka.. di ka lang pla manhid, may pagka-tanga ka den.
ginagalit mo ko.

haha. kapal.

+++
ngayon di kita kausap, galit ako sau. pag nakausap kita, di ko alam sasabihin ko. pag nakita kita, puta. bka mapatawad nlang kita.

hhay.

+++
nasobrahan ata ako ng kabaitan sau. kaya ginaganito mo na ako. kapal din ng mukha mo noh.

update. update. update.

2005-06-26T07:01:00.000-07:00

yey. last friday we [kym, cza, me, and yeli] went to visit holy. yey. ang astig i saw king there, tus sabi ni mama, nandun din daw sina jayms and bax nung morning. sayang di kami nagkita2. but its ok. after that, kym and i made tambay sa podium. [haha. conyotic.] aun. tus update. update kami. tpos after dat, dating sina danna, denise and mael. aun. sama na ko sa kanila. kase kym and cza needed to go home already. so aun. tpos we went to mael's place kase danna has to change chaka ewan. bsta alam ko nung nsa school sad si det2 kase di daw sha pinayagan pero nung na kena mael na,ok na. haha. tpos si mael naman di pinayagan. tpos punta kami sa treehaus para uminom. ang funny nga eh kase hiningi pa nung babae yung id ko. haha. kase ksama ko si det tpos nakauniform sha. so after ko bigay yung id ko, nakainom din kame. pero wag ka si det2 umorder ng vodka pero ako pa den uminom. hhay det. aun after nun, di ko na alam mga nanyare. bsta alam ko nabangag na ko. kase naman vodka tpos sml. ewan. haha. pero ayos lang mejo naging ok na ko nung asa mcdo na kami ni danna. pinakwento ko na nga lang sknya yung mga nanyare, sabi nia nagsuka daw ako and ebriting pero di ko na tlga maalala yun. tpos ewan. may katangahan nnman ata akong ginawa. ewan. ang tanga- tanga ko tlga. hhay.:(

tpos saturday, aus lang we went to PUNCHLINE. sama mga tropa ng nanay ko. aun. ang funny nila vice ganda, rommel, kiray, kitkat, fudge. tpos di ko na alam yung iba. haha. ang funny sobra. nakakaaliw. tpos shempre kasama na inom dun. di ko alam kung naka-ilang vodka ako. bsta alam ko bangag din ako nung saturday. haha. tpos uwi kami mga 4. haha. tpos daan kami sa pares haus. fud trip kami ng tatay ko. tpos uwi na. ang saya ng day na yun. nakakawala ng problems.

tpos sunday. aral day. nung hapon my family and i went to sm. saya. binilan ako ng aking ama ng 2 sandals from skechers. ang proud ko pa sabay nanay ko bumili ng shoes nia sa kickers, aba, yung 2 ko na sandals parehas lang ng price dun sa shoes nia!!! haha. pero ayos lang. tpos we ate sa food court. shempre pag kami ng tatay ko magkasama kahit san san lang kain. pero pag si ysai taena. sobrang arte. haha. tpos aun, dito na ulit ako sa dorm. hhhay...

sa wednesday na alis si ama, ang lungkot sobra. feel ko nga sobra sobra na yung sadness nia kase everyday gsto nia inom kami. tpos aun. tahimik na cia lague. hhay. ang sad. pero naenjoy namin lhat yung uwi nia dis tym. ok sobra. aun. so uwi ako sa wednesday samin. tpos bka ako maghatid sa kanya sa airport. sooooo.. good luck nlang sakin. haha.:)

nu kaya mganda gawin para sa dad ko? nahohome sick nnman ako. iba nnman set-up kpag wala si ama sa bahay...

monday nnman bukas. ang bilis ng araw. midterms na, wala pa den nanyayare sa buhay ko... or... may manyayare pa ba?

labo..

it's a long weekend.

2005-06-23T03:24:00.000-07:00

tomorrow is june 24, manila day. soooo.. that means, no classes for all schools in manila. haha. it also means that schools from qc have regular classes! bleh.:p

im gonna go home tonight, i knwo that it's kinda dangerous na kase nyt time na pero i have to. and i want to. haha. i miss my family so much. i miss the "lutong bahay" type of food. and gosh sorry if this sounds so corny, most of all i miss my sister.. as in..:( aaaww.. haha..

my father will go to some place in cavite togetheer with his friends. so that means, ala ako kakampi.:( but that's ok, i will go to holy to visit them naman eh, then i'm gonna go with danna? and denise? inuman daw.. so yun.. sana lang tuloy pa den diba?? so yun, cguro my mom's gonna go out din, remember it's friday, and it's their gimmik nyt.:) haha. labo.

on saturday and sunday im gonna start studying na. imma prepare for my midterms this coming week. actually sabi ng mga prof, "long quiz" plang daw yun.. the real midterms will be next next week pa. hhay. deym i still need 11 points to be exempted sa oral recitation sa instud. then i need to study sa poligov for the first quiz. hhay..

somehow, masaya naman ako sa mga kinalalabasan ng mga quizzes and tests and even reports ko. di pa naman ako nakakatanggap ng failed na grade, not even a 1.0 lowest ko na ata is 2.0. not naman bad right? i should not be satisfied. dapat maging mas masipag pa ko. hhay. minamahal ko na ang pag-aaral ngayon. tnx to holy.:)

buti nalang natapos na yung report sa instud. we got 20 over 28. plus 5 sa reci. that gives me 19 points. hhay. bad pa den. 11 points pa para 3.5 sa oral exam. sa anthrop naman we had our 2nd quiz, bad trip. i got 8 over 10 sa first at sa second? aaaccck.. feeling ko imma fail it. tus she warned us to prepare ng sobra for the midterms. feel ko sobra hirap nia magpa-midterms. haha. ang funny tlga pag crithin yung subject. actually parang wala ngang subject eh. parang free period. yet i still enjoy the subject kase puro criticisms yung ginagawa chaka feeling mo tumatalino ka kapag discussions na. im enjoying my college life na. gaining more friends everyday and learning more. haha. julug. pero seryoso msaya.:)

musta na kaya sina cza? wala na kong alam sa kaniya.

wats in store for me sa long weekend na toh? may maganda kayang manyayare?:(

deym it.

2005-06-21T07:05:00.000-07:00

bilib talaga ako sau, nagawa mong baguhin ang buhay ko, binigyan mo ng kabuluhan at higit sa lahat binago mo pa pati pagkatao ko. pero alam mo, may mas nakakabilib ka pang ginawa eh, biruin mo sa tigas kong toh, nasaktan mo pa den ako.

wattaday. grabe, may report sa instud worth seven points. tpos may full production sa anthrop. lahat yun dapat matapos ngayong week! my golly.

a while ago, eunice and i joined the european studies association. kase sir gan told us that if we join that org may 2 additional points daw sa final grade. hello, instud yun. so aun we joined na kanina. maybe next recruitment i'll join aiesec. kase ang wide ng opportunities dun eh. may mga job chuva pa cla. so yun. interesting. pero since kailangan ko tlga mag-ESA, join na din ako. i hope maging masaya sha. sobrang damang-dama ko na ang pressure sa course ko. naiiyak na nga ako kanina kase sobrang di ko tlga alam gagawin ko. hhay. i miss holy. sobra. cant wait na mag-friday. gsto ko na makipag-chikahan kay mama O. i love her. sobra. nakakamiss den ang mga friends. lahat ng bagay sa holy nakakamiss. haha. di ko na maintindihan kung anong uunahin ko. haha. labo.

hindi na tlga ako makapag-hintay mag-friday. hhay.

ilang days nlang midterms na namin. shet ang bilis.

stuffs to work on: [before midterms]
-instud reci. [kailangan 30 points para 100 na sa oral exams nia.]
-instud reporting. [deym thursday na yun.]
-anthrop full production play.[sa tuesday next week na yun. at ang group namin? wala pang nagagawa kahit isa. TAKE NOTE. FULL PRODUCTION.]
-poligov summary and reaction.
-crithin paperSSSS.
-study?
-have fun?
-die?

haha. ang labo tlga ng mundo ko ngayon. feel ko magbbreakdown nlang ako bgla. shet. kaya ko toh. haha.

grabeh, di kita maintindihan. ang bato mo. lahat ng mga tao nahihirapan dahil sau. ndi naman kita makausap. maya sabihin mo pa ang kapal ko. sabi mo mahal mo sha, bakit di mo ipadama? malay mo mapagod sha. pero dahil close kami shempre alam ko hndi yun susuko. pero gosh naman noh. maawa ka naman sa kanya. ndi sa lahat ng panahon dapat ganyan ka. hhay nako. ewan. labo mo tsong.

www.xanga.com/inzsheyn_16

monday. wattaday.

2005-06-20T04:56:00.000-07:00

kailan kailan mo ba mapapansin ang aking lihim. kahit anong aking gawin di mo pinapansin. kailan hahaplusin ang pusong bitin na bitin. kahit anong pilit lambing, di mo pa den pansin.

ayun. di nnman ako pumasok sa englone. tus sabi daw ni ms pamcy, cutting daw ako. may sakit naman tlga ako eh. hhay. labo. hinatid ko si ysai sa class nia kanina. astig. nakita ko si mama O, hinug ko sha. miss ko na siya tlga sobra. aun tpos hanggang 9 nsa bean2 kami. astig feeling ata ng tatay ko 20 minutes away lang yung la salle samin. haha. ang sarap magchikahan. sabi ng parents ko masaya daw ako ngayon sa school ko. haha. kung alam lang nila may ibang reason kung bakit masaya ako. na-issue pa ko ng nanay ko, may gusto daw ako makita sa holy kaya daw gsto ko lagi andun. haha. nanay ko tlga oh..

aun so mga 10 something na ko nakadating dito. nanalo SPURS. astig! haha. di ko napanood yung last quarter pero astig pa den. galing tlga nila. sana sila manalo ulit.:) tpos ayun, ang stupid ko pa naiwan ko yung closet key ko sa bahay.. buti nlang may duplicate dito. aun. ok naman na. ndi ko lang sha maclose ng maayos. haha.

poligov sobrang boring, mejo nakatulog nga ako eh. haha. ayos lang. mahal ko naman yung subject na yun eh. tpos rels, sobrang dami nag-cut. edi ang obvious. aun nagcheck tuloy sha ng attendance. swerte andun ako.:)

ayun. tus pag-uwi ko 1 hour 40 minutes kong finifigure out kung pano ausin yung pie graph.. aun.. salamat kay danna at jess.. naayos na din.:)

eto dc na ko.. aral pa ko sa instud. hhay. and sad tlga. shetness..

ang sakit pla ng ganito. sobra. pero kahit na. pinili ko toh. kaya dapat kayanin ko.

wide awake.

2005-06-19T23:48:00.000-07:00

im wide awake and i can see the perfect sky is torn.

wala lang. grabe gising pa ko wut time na. anywei, dapat ngayon balik ako sa dorm, kaya lang tinamad na ako, pati parents ko tinamad na maghatid. kase naman noh, galing pa kmi ng pampanga. so parang panu yun? haha. labo. aun, bukas hatid ko si ysai sa school nia den pasok na ako. 9.20 pa naman class ko eh.. so aun. bahala na. tus wala pa akong idea kung anong mga dapat gawin. grabe. i so hate myself. im becoming the bad "yen" again. aaakk! hhay. promise aayusin ko na tlga. nakakawala lang tlga sa mood lalo na pag ganito na may colds pa ko. aun.

i called cza kanina, nakakasad kase parang wala lang. i really missed her kaya lang kahit gsto ko man makipag-chikahan sa kanya. busy naman siya. sana lang di maapektuhan yung friendship namin, lalo na ngayon na iba na yung schools namin. hhay. tnx to nico, kase lagi sha anjan for me, same thing den nman sakin. tntry ko din yung best ko na maging gud friend sa kanya.:)

aun. i miss my rum8s! haha.:) wala akong kinukulit.. ang sad.. haha.

o sha aral na ko.:)

,,sana makasama ko po ikaw sa friday. hhay.

didnt attend classes.

2005-06-16T08:03:00.000-07:00

didnt attend my englone class today. i missed miss pamcy. haha. nice. pero sayang, kahit na ndi sha nagche2ck ng attendance gsto ko pa den sana pumasok kanina, it's just that i'm really not feeling well. i bought my meds kanina, eew. hate meds. pero anong mgagawa ko? i have to drink 'em. hhay. anywei, i attended my instud and anthropclass kanina, nakakabilib tlga si ms. leah, derederecho sha magsalita. ang patok. ndi nlang namin namamalayan, chapters 4-9 na pla dinidiscuss nia. hhay. tpos sa instud, we had our first seatwork. open notes. open readings. MY GOD! uber hirap. uber tlga. 5 questions lang tussobrang wow. to think na 2 chapters plang yun. hhay. pano pa kaya sa midterms? pero i had fun. sobrang lamig ng room, i forgot to bring my jacket. aun paglabas ko tuloy sobrang nanginginig ako. tus pag-uwi ko sa dorm ang taas nnman ng lagnat ko. hhay. pero i'm feeling okay na. inom na kase ako ng meds eh.:)

ang kakaiba ni bheng ngayon, ngayon ko lang sha nakita mag-aral. haha. sana continue nia yan lague.:)

sobrang nababaliw na ata tlga ako, kanina sobrang lagnat ko tus uber red ko. takot nga si let eh, kase daw parang hinihika na ko, hndi nia daw alam gagawin nia. haha. ang caring tlga ng mga roommates ko. swerte ko sa knila.:) aun, tus grabeh di ko lam kung pano nanyare pero UMINOM AKO NG GAMOT??? haha. ewan. at wag ka kumain pa ko ng dinner. haha. ang astig tlga. ang kakaiba.

buti nlang mejo nipawisan na ako. kaya mejo ok na ko. sayang nico and i won't be able to play basketball tomorrow.:( kase daw may sakit ako. haha. labo. tnx nico sa care.:)

ang kulit pa ni danna kanina, susumbong nia daw ako sa mga tao lalo na sa aking mother dear, hhay. takot tuloy ako bka i-pull out ako nun sa dorm at worse is, ilipat nia ako ng school. hhay. danna tlga oh. pero anywei, thanks na den sa concern. astig ka tlga!:)

si jes din nakakatouch, pinilit nia ko uminom ng gamot. waaah. ang sungit ng batang yun. tsk.:( pasalamat ka.. hhay.. haha. labo. anwei, tnx den po sa care. nakakatouch. *hug*

aun. dc na ko. nahihiya na ako kay bheng. haha.:)

gud luck sa relsone test ko bukas.:)

isa lang yung 22o at tamang alam ko, mahal na mahal kita.

new blog. new layout.

2005-06-15T04:56:00.000-07:00

finally. kahit na hndi makita ng lahat. lalo na dito sa room. yehey.

ang saya2.

yen is sick.

yen has LOVE-nat.

aaaww..

funny.